Jeff on the dock in front of yacht NORD at Picton

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Ever wondered what it’d be like to just pack in your job, give up your marina berth and head out cruising for a year? I did too. Wondered about, longed for, dreamed of. And then it became a plan to, saved for, sweated after. And all of a sudden — it was time to go.

We’re a liveaboard couple based in Wellington, New Zealand off to sail to our closest cruising grounds — Marlborough Sounds.

Finally leaving our marina after four years living aboard meant no more train commute into the city, squeezed shoulder to shoulder with people's eyes down, scrolling on phones or staring out the window escaping the world through earbuds and music. For my husband it meant no more students day-in day-out, working tirelessly to motivate, encourage, mediate, and deal with never ending admin, attending meeting after meeting.

For the both of us, it meant taking a punt that using money we’d saved would be better invested in experiencing the ocean and solitude. Neither of us wanted regrets like wishing we’d done it sooner or wishing we’d used our boat more. We both had visions of what our new cruising life was going to be like. Now we’ve been out here exploring Queen Charlotte Sound slowly for two months. And I’ve been reflecting on just how it compares to what I thought it was going to be like.

After all, not everything turns out the way we imagine. Here are some expectations I had about sailing and living at sea.

Expectation: I’d get fit

Prior to leaving I’d bounced between complete inactivity for hours on end during the week (thanks very much life at a computer) and busy weekends jammed full of boat jobs and prep. My mental health was suffering and stress levels were high — my exercise routine was non-existent.

So, I had visions of walking the Queen Charlotte track every day (one of New Zealand’s greatest hikes), ocean swimming across bays and using the TRX I’d bought us — combine that with a healthy lifestyle of fish and veges — bring on the new buff me!

Reality

The build up of adrenalin and end of year fatigue hit us and we were exhausted on arrival. We spent the first couple of weeks sleeping, resting outdoors in the cockpit and literally just lying in the ocean floating around the boat. Many of the bays we stopped by didn’t actually have walking tracks or large beaches (remote living bliss) so that meant either bushwacking up hills, or paddleboarding. I tried the former a couple of times and stuck to the latter.

The reality is my mental health and stress levels improved with each day on the water and that’s a big positive. I noticed my breathing became much, much deeper as the days passed and I felt way calmer and tuned into the present moment. I’m still keen to improve my fitness levels, but I’ve realised this is going to take some effort and inventiveness and a bit more motivation on my part.

Expectation: I’d get bored

Ok just hear me out on this one. I know boat maintenance lists literally sniff out any whiff of boredom and the ensuing guilt prods you into action.

But, boredom can be the catalyst for ideas to spark. It’s why kids should be allowed to get bored (revoke the WiFi!) — their inventiveness will flourish. As a creative person whose creativity had dried up like a negative COVID swab — I wanted to get bored. I wanted space to not do anything, and then find something.

So did I?

Reality

I realise now there’s a difference between doing nothing and boredom. I spent plenty of time doing nothing – just sitting and watching the water. Not doing anything – just ‘being’ and definitely not bored.

The days also flew by on an entirely different dimension of time. Hours were soaked up by an organic flow of waking when we felt like it, drinking coffee, swimming, reading, food prep, clean up, more food, watching fish under the hull, cool drinks in the cockpit, checking the weather and watching the sunset. And repeat (but also add in some stress about the anchor holding and bad weather).

The ideas came pouring in.

Without juggling clients and land jobs, the creative ideas and writing and photography were amplified — to the point where some nights I’d have to take notes — so I kept writing and blogging and the result? Saltwater Journal is here to stay.

Expectation: We’d travel far and wide

Everyone wants to know where you’re going on a trip — and so we told them with all our bubbling excitement of casting off the marina lines — home for the past four years. Our list of destinations included Queen Charlotte Sound, Pelorus Sound, D'urville Island, Nelson, Abel Tasman — we expected to see them all.

Reality

Oh boy. We didn’t get far. After we arrived in Queen Charlotte and settled into holiday mode, our focus changed from needing to “get somewhere” to taking as long as we wanted in each bay we loved. And there were a lot of them. We had 10 nights in one spot! It felt like such a luxury not to rush and we embraced our slow travel (ironic on a yacht). Some bays we revisited, and we met fellow cruisers we could catch up with more than once — something we really enjoyed, and wouldn’t have done if we’d crammed in more places.

Relaxed beach camp — *Slow relaxed days in Queen Charlotte Sound*

Expectation: We’d catch lots of fish

With blue cod season open, we thought we’d be hauling in at least one fish every couple of days — enough to challenge me to think about different ways of cooking fish!

Reality

Either we’re crap at fishing or the Queen Charlotte Sound has been well fished over summer — I’m picking the latter! While we did get two blue cod, the reality is that we ended up buying our protein in the form of steak and chickpeas. I guess that’s the penalty for not travelling to lesser fished locations!

Expectation: I’d be ok not contacting my daughter every day

This is a tough one. My teenage daughter’s not currently living onboard — so we’d talked with her before we left about sailing remotely and being out of cell phone reception for a week at a time. She’s cool with that (what teen isn't!) and knows what the Sounds are like and we’d prepped for less communication.

Reality

Frankly, not being able to contact her whenever I liked sucked big time. More than two days and I’d start to feel a bit out of the loop and anxious (even though rationally I knew she was fine). Inner Queen Charlotte has really good reception coverage — part of the reason we hung around there so long but I know as we venture further afield we’ll lose immediacy. Even though she’s a young adult — the invisible umbilical cord still gets tugged and I’m still working this one out.

Expectation: That I’d really miss hot showers

One of the things I believed I’d miss most leaving the marina would be the hot showers. Oooh that delicious running hot water with amazing pressure — for as long as I liked!

Reality

I haven’t missed them much at all (I’m surprised). The only time I’ve REALLY craved one was when we turned up at 6:30am in a southerly to Picton and it was freezing cold and my hair was grubby and I just wanted to warm up under running water…(aka just one of those days).

And granted it’s been summer so far for our cruising (so an update will follow in winter).

I’ve found a hot wash from a solar shower on deck or by boiling the billy on the stove is still comforting. And for the cold wash days an ocean swim, fresh water creek or rain water in a bucket is pretty invigorating. It’s amazing how much you can improvise and change your life norm in order to enjoy a different way of living.

Expectation: I’d have a lot of hand-washing to do

I thought toiling away washing and wringing all our clothes and bedding would become my new arm workout!

Reality

Aside from underwear, a few singlets, shorts and flannels, there was minimal hand-washing. And I’m not sad about it! There’s two reasons why I got off lightly here.

It was lovely summer weather — so a lot of the time we hung out in our swimwear (easy rinse and hang stuff).
We were only two weeks away from calling into a town (usually Picton) or a lodge with a washing machine. So most items and big sheets were saved for washing then.

Swimwear hanging out to dry on the lifelines — *We lived a lot in swimwear — swim, dry, repeat*

Expectation: We’d use our monitor wind vane

I thought with some of the longer sails planned we’d be experimenting with using our monitor wind vane for the first time.

Reality

We didn’t sail far. Plus, winds around Marlborough Sounds can be very flukey, so more often than not we were hand-steering and only doing short sails (or motoring!). So we’ve still got the fun ahead of us for this one.

Expectation: I’d do heaps of the crafty projects I’d saved for the trip

While this is a contrast to the earlier expectation of ‘wanting to be bored’, I had a number of crafty projects that I wanted to try out. I’d packed a small weaving loom, macrame kit, watercolours and Jeff bought me a whittling knife.

Reality

I didn’t feel like doing any of it! I was far more interested in sitting peacefully, enjoying doing nothing (and still not being bored). I did quite happily sit in the sun and make one macrame plant hanger, but the rest of my ideas are waiting. Perhaps some cold wintery days onboard will provide the right vibe for future crafting endeavours.

Jeff and Tara onboard NORD with a view from the drone — *Both of us felt guilty at times that we weren’t busy doing things*

Expectation: That I’d be more motivated

With taking a year off work to sail, I expected to be full of energy and renewed vigour to get out there and do all the things I’d been waiting to do (did someone say small loom weaving?).

Reality

You guessed it – our motivation was all spent on the months and months planning and prepping our boat in order to go sailing! So it should be no surprise really that the best part while we were away was in fact the peace and quiet. It was being outdoors and watching the entire night sky reflected on an inky black sea at 11pm. It’s an interesting experiment to ‘untrain’ yourself from feeling like you have to be doing things all the time. Both of us experienced guilt that we weren’t motivated to do more, and we realised just how much we’ve been raised in a culture that equates busyness and productivity with success.

Expectation: I’d be having sex willy nilly (with my husband)

Envision a sailboat in a beautiful secluded location, surrounded by native nīkau palms, delightful birdsong, warm breezes, clear water — on holiday with your lover, and all the time in the world. I can see it. I imagined myself as a sexy siren of seduction invigorated by our newly created freedom on the high seas.

Reality

Ahem. Afternoon delight? We had some special moments. Although I can confirm that tropical cyclones, gusty anchorages and chain grinding over rock noisily all night maketh not the conditions conducive to romance!

Just like on land, you need to prioritise your health, energy levels and make time to be with your partner.

In conclusion

So there you have it — my honest experience of cruising Queen Charlotte for two months.

I’ve found it’s not necessarily helpful to have expectations. They can detract from enjoying a new experience for what it is. There’s a lot of sayings about expectations like “no expectations, no disappointments!” but it’s pretty hard not to visualise what it’s going to be like cruising, and dream about being out there — that’s what keeps you going when you’re servicing grubby winches or scraping a hull!

Which leads me to grace. It’s actually easy to land in paradise and then feel guilty or find ways to beat yourself up about what you expect you should or shouldn’t be doing. Giving yourself grace is a pretty good way of moving through that stuff and coming out the other side feeling ok. The reality is we’ve had a pretty unbelievably great time so far — and hope you’re encouraged to get out there too.